Babies and the dreaded car seat
Let’s face it, not all babies bliss out when strapped into a car seat. If you are one of the unfortunate few whose quick trip to the grocery store with your infant has turned into a screamfest here are some things that might help!
Taking a beat to focus on empathizing with the way your baby feels can help you deal with the situation from a different perspective. Awareness is half the battle! I don’t know about you but I would absolutely hate being strapped into something and not be able to move. If your infant is screaming out when they are, it’s likely they feel the same way! Oftentimes as parents and caregivers we get focused on getting the thing done and miss out on all the other opportunities at play. Reframing putting your child in a car seat in your mind as a time to connect not only you with your child but them to their car seat can make a world of difference for years to come. It also prepares you for the reality of an outcome that’s different than you expected so you are not as likely to get frustrated.
Babies can have a difficult time transitioning from one activity to another in general. For some babies, it can be the transition itself and not so much the car seat that sets them off. One important thing you can do is truly connect and engage with your infant during a transition. Especially if they immediately get upset transitioning into a car seat. Hold them about 10 inches from your face and lock eyes. Speak in whatever way you’ve figured out engages them. Keep them locked and engaged while you manipulate the rest of their body into the seat. Once they are there, stay engaged for a little while longer and slowly back away bringing something else into view; books, toys, mobile etc. This can also be used when transitioning from your arms to a play mat, crib, another human etc. If you find yourself saying, “They are totally fine until I go to put them down”. Then give this technique a try!
You want to create a positive association with the seat. Bring the car seat into your play and living spaces. Set them in it for reading, playtime, babbling chats or any other household activity. One of my faves is to set them on the floor while I’m doing dishes and explaining what I’m doing. Ultimately, modeling a behavior that lasts a lifetime! This will help change the negative association that’s made its way into their central nervous system.
Once you’ve got your little one happily engaged in the car seat you can start slowly buckling one arm in. You want to do it in a way that they don’t even notice by engaging their gaze elsewhere. If they notice this sudden restriction and get upset do all the things you’ve learned to do to distract them. From that point on, every time you put them in the seat click the one arm in and eventually the other, leaving it loose. Then slowly tighten. This can even be done with your toddler; bringing the seat inside etc.
For some, this technique can work within days if it’s done consistently. The most I’ve seen is two weeks with some tweaks here and there because every kiddo is different. Just like a lot of behavioral modifications it takes time and consistency but it is worth it in the end! The bottom line is they have to be in that seat for quite literally years. It’s not in their best interest brain development wise to reach that level of stress and cortisol release if they scream and cry while in it. It’s not in the best interest of your sanity and peace of mind either. Having awareness, taking the time and putting in the effort to work through it is in everybody’s best interest!